You know that walking with God doesn’t mean that things will always be peaches and cream, right? That’s a common misconception. The Bible forewarns us that we will face sufferings, afflictions, tests, and trials (John 16:33, Psalm 34:19, Isaiah 48:10, 1 Peter 4:12-13, Romans 8:18). Numerous verses throughout the Bible describe people suffering, falling short, feeling defeated, becoming weak, or desiring to give up. There are also verses that reveal that even Jesus suffered (1 Peter 4:1&2, 1 Peter 2:24). Luke 22:42 reveals that Jesus, Himself, desired to give up while completing the fulfillment of His Father’s will. I am grateful that Jesus placed His Father’s will and assignment ahead of His desire to give up. Jesus’ suffering was not in vain and neither will your suffering be. There are promises attached to our suffering (Romans 5:3-5, Philippians 1:29, 2 Corinthians 4:17, 1 Peter 5:10). So if Jesus went through suffering for our sins, why can’t we accept that we will go through sufferings as well? Why can’t we endure the sufferings while looking forward to the greater outcome? Why do we give up on God and His will so easily? Let’s Talk!
I never want to paint a picture as if my walk with God is one of a “peaches and cream” nature. I desire to be transparent and engage in Real Talk. I desire to be as vulnerable as God instructs me and posting this post warrants complete vulnerability. So Let’s Talk! In November 2023, I was in an unhealthy situationship. During that time, I was unhealed from a previous relationship, and I was relying heavily on alcohol and fornication as my coping mechanisms as I had done for over a decade. During that month, I began to become dissatisfied with my lifestyle. I desired to be a better person and lead a better lifestyle. Quite frankly, I desired to lead a lifestyle that was pleasing to God. It wasn’t until December 20, 2023, that I actually asked God to save me again. I surrendered myself to Him. That very day, I made a commitment to God that I would consecrate my body as His temple and do all I could to ensure it remained a suitable vessel for His Spirit. To me that commitment meant that I would leave the situationship and fornication behind. I replaced fornication with a workout regimen. Do you know how hard it is to deny your flesh of something that it is accustomed to on a regular basis? Do you know what it feels like to have the devil attempting to convince you to do it “just one more time”? Do you know how hard it can be to silence the sweet nothings being whispered into your ear attempting to draw you backwards? Do you know how much effort it takes to not please yourself when the urges are overwhelming? Do you know that praying in those moments will get you through the moments? I won’t lie by saying I didn’t succumb to pleasing my flesh, but I can tell you that it takes the power of the Holy Spirit to resist those urges and overcome those moments. Walking in the Spirit of God enables you to overcome the lusts of your flesh.
As I continued to surrender to God, I went on multiple fasts from liquor, but I continued to drink wine during those times. I would drink when I wanted to “have a good time” or when I was “stressed out” or “when I achieved an accomplishment” or “when someone else achieved an accomplishment”. I can admit that alcohol was the star of the show for my life. The unfortunate side of that was, I did not know what having a good time meant if it didn’t involve alcohol. I also did not know how to effectively cope during times of high stress or raw emotion because I had made a habit of masking those moments with alcohol. Do you know that God is a deliverer? On June 29, 2024, I poured myself a glass of wine and sat down to read my Bible. In that moment, I heard God ask me one simple question, “Why are you drinking?”. I, in turn, asked myself that question, but I couldn’t find an answer. God began to remind me of how He had brought me out of situations, relationships, hard times, abuse, etc. I had used all of those as reasons to drink. He reminded me that He had changed so much in my life and my mindset. By asking me that question, He revealed to me that I had no reason at all to be drinking in that moment. I got up, and I poured that glass of wine down the drain. Just know that as of June 30, 2024, I have been sober. With my two coping mechanisms gone, I turned more to prayer and being vulnerable with God. Do you know what it feels like to be drinking alcohol one day and have no desire to drink alcohol the next day? Do you know what it’s like for a weekly habit for over a decade of your life to be snatched away from you by God? Do you know what it feels like to be an adult and not be able to give emotions a name or effectively express them? Do you know that coping mechanisms do not provide any type of healing? Do you know that God is able to heal you from the root causes of whatever is causing you to depend on those coping mechanisms?
Months prior to my deliverance from alcohol, I had started to become uncomfortable being in the club-like settings so I began to shy away from the club scene. Instead, I began to go to house parties, invite only events or laid back lounges while I was out of town. Eventually, I felt completely out of place in those settings as well so I began to stay home more often. This was completely new to me because I used to stay “on go”. Do you know how challenging it is to adjust from being “on go’ to being a homebody? Do you know how much resistance arises when God instructs you to stay at home when you desire to hangout? Do you know what loneliness feels like? Do you know what it feels like to go from having friends for every occasion to barely having any friends because you don’t partake in the old activities? Do you know what it’s like to lose people close to you due to you pursuing a different life path? Do you know how it feels to grieve the loss of friendships? Do you know that God will send you a new community of people that will make you realize how important it is to have a community striving for the same greatness you’re striving for?
These are only a few of the things that have occurred since December 2023. Know that when I gave God a real yes and surrendered to Him, the afflictions, tests, trials, and sufferings came; but they were/are for a greater purpose. When starting this journey, I experienced low moments which lead to discouragement and a desire to give up on serving God. If I am not careful to keep my focus on God instead of my circumstances, I will find myself experiencing those moments as well. December 2023, I made a decision to not run away from God or turn back to my comfortable place or give up just because things seemed tough or were not going my way. I am currently in a place where I confidently believe God’s words are true, and I have a Job 13:15 mindset. It is important for us to know and believe that our sufferings, afflictions, tests and trials are not in vain. When you are in God and striving to please Him, He uses those circumstances to transform you, teach you, birth things within you, reveal and uproot things from within you, etc. Because of my sufferings, afflictions, tests and trials, I have become a new person and am still becoming. When I surrendered, God literally began to strip me of the identity that I had formulated and built for myself. Currently, He continues to strip me. But while He strips me, He also continues to solidify my new identity which is rooted in Him. I don’t live like I used to live. I don’t have the same mindset that I used to have. I don’t walk like I used to walk. I don’t talk like I used to talk. I know that this walk is a journey, and as long as I continue to strive, God will continue to transform and uplift me. Remember that you cannot expect for years of things you became accustomed to doing to fall off of you simultaneously. When God delivered me from alcohol at once, I prayed and asked Him to deliver me from cursing just like that as well. Let’s just say I am still striving and allowing Him to change my language. I fail, at times, but I also give myself credit because I know that the cursing is not as bad as it used to be. I said that to say this, it is important to have the Holy Spirit on this journey of faith. The Holy Spirit will teach you, convict you, correct you, and guide you; I am a witness to this.
Can you imagine looking up one day and not recognizing yourself? Can you imagine making progress forward then stopping and contemplating going back because the new place is uncomfortable? Can you imagine God setting you so far from your old life that you are forced to accept your new life?
My desire for this post is to encourage someone who is desiring to live a life that is surrendered to God or striving to live a life that is surrendered to God. Making the decision to do so was not easy and neither is the journey after that. But you can do anything WITH GOD (Philippians 4:13). I encourage you to keep your focus on God. He will guide you through this journey. He will uplift you when you feel broken down. He will encourage you when you are discouraged. He will give you instructions when you are unsure. He will make you feel loved and seen when you are lonely. He will teach you how to lean on Him and Him alone. He will be your all and all. Stay encouraged. God sees you. God hears you. God loves you.
Real Talk with Keve 