How many social media posts have you read on the topic of knowing your worth? How many talks with your friends or family members or maybe even yourself have you had regarding realizing and walking in your worth? How many times are you going to have to find yourself in disrespectful, distasteful, and embarrassing situations before you reclaim your worth? How long are you willing to settle for less knowing that your worth is greater than what you are allowing? Let’s Talk!
When God gave me this title, it was the morning after an old situationship contacted me. Mind you, I ended this situationship almost two years ago, but he desired to know why I didn’t contact him anymore. During the conversation, I told him the reasons why I had not contacted him and would not start back contacting him. He mentioned noting my involvement in the church now, but immediately after, he brought up how I used to be the “fun girl”. {Y’all see the devil working, right? Let me just add this here. When you make progression forward in life, the enemy is going to use anything and everybody to either bring you back to where you used to be or knock you off of God’s course for your life.} I told him that the “fun girl” I used to be was an unhealed young woman who was using coping mechanisms to mask pain and settling for less than what she was worthy of. I reminded him of the toxicity of the situationship and how I did not understand how he even desired to be involved with me at that time. (You know it’s bad when you realize your own mess and confess it.) Nevertheless, none of that mattered to him. He mentioned possibly taking me on a trip. He pulled all of the stops in an attempt to persuade me to reverting back to dealing with him. But all of that was to no avail because the “fun girl” he came looking for has been transformed by God into a completely different woman… one with her worth and value rooted in God. When I ended that situationship, it was due to me having a conversation with myself regarding my worth, values and morals. I was fed up with dealing with the toxicity. I had come to the conclusion that the situationship would never be more than an uncommitted “good time”. I was done degrading myself for the sake of having someone who was semi present. Mind you, this wasn’t the first time I allowed my worth to be defined by a man’s standards. To be quite frank, I had a history of allowing paid trips, money, and gifts to keep me in situations I knew were not good for me. But the truth of the matter at that time was that I desired to be deemed worthy in man’s eyes and according to man’s standards. The conversation with him ended, and I was proud of myself. I was proud that I had come to a place of looking the enemy in the face and not bowing down or giving in to the old tactics that were effective. I was proud because I had stayed the course that I committed to almost 2 years ago and never looked back. I remain proud that I continue to allow God to transform me into the woman that He created me to be.
I know all of us have found ourselves in situations where we compromised our worth, morals, and values to be in a situationship. And when speaking of situationships, you can include relationships, marriages, career paths, friendships, etc. Some of us knew better and still remained in those situations. Some of us had to muster up the strength to finally stand up for ourselves and leave. Some of us were so lost that when we finally came up for air, we could no longer identify ourselves. I have two questions to set the tone for the meat of this post, “How much are you worth? What is your value?”.
Like mentioned above, we tend to use cultural standards, society’s standards, man’s standards, woman’s standards and even our own standards to measure our worth up against. We go to the extent of building up personas, obtaining the greatest degrees, obtaining the highest titles, buying the most beautiful homes, driving the nicest cars, achieving a certain social status, and anything else to appear as if we are of high value and worth. Then there comes a point when we realize that all of those things add no value to our true worth. I heard it like this in a song this week, “We are public successors but privately broken”. Let’s Talk about me because maybe you cannot relate to what I am saying! God dealt with me heavily regarding my success and accomplishments after I got saved. The truth of the matter is I had obtained all of these degrees and achieved social status, but those things did not make me feel any more worthy or valuable. While in the waiting season to enter into my nurse practitioner era, God told me that He did not need me to have any degrees, possess any type of social status or obtain any special qualifications to do what He desired for me to do in His kingdom. He revealed that He allowed me to be successful in school and obtain my licensures because that was a desire of my heart. It wasn’t until He began to strip me of my coping mechanisms and the identity that I had formulated and built up for myself that He revealed how I had rooted my identity in my responsibilities and titles. It was not until God began to transform me that I realized that I could not be who I had created myself to be, but I had to be who God created me to be. As God peeled back the layers of my formulated identity, I began to see that my identity is rooted in God and my worth is far beyond what I had imagined.
God desires for you to realize your true worth and identity. We’ve talked about how worth can be defined through relationship with others and through titles. Let’s Talk about your true worth and identity which are both rooted in God. Genesis chapter one verses 26 and 27 lets us know that we were created in the IMAGE and LIKENESS of God. When man was created, he was structured like God and possessed a similar nature, Spirit, and intellect as God. Man was created with dominion within him (Genesis 1:28); dominion is defined as authority and power. Jeremiah chapter one verse five lets us know that before God formed us in our mother’s womb, He knew and approved us. And before we were born, He separated us and set us apart. YOU WERE NOT CREATED TO FIT IN. Accept that key point and move forward; you cannot get caught up in desiring to fit in so much that you miss God’s plan and purpose for your life. Ephesians chapter two verse 10 reveals that we are God’s handiwork and that we were recreated in Jesus Christ to do the good works which God predestined for us. Psalm chapter 139 verse 14 tells us that we were fearfully and wonderfully made. Those verses attest to our IDENTITY. How about our worth? I am going to list only two verses here because I believe they are the most impactful. John chapter three verse 16 states that God loved the world so much that He gave His only Son for whoever that believes in Him to not perish but have eternal life. Romans chapter 5 verse 8 states God showed and clearly proved His love for us because while we were sinners, His son died for us. YOU ARE WORTH DYING FOR!! End of story.
Your worth and identity are not defined by people’s opinions, your past, your mistakes, your works, your income, your social status, your title, cultural norms, or religious factors. I encourage you to evaluate yourself. Look within yourself to see if you have allowed your worth and identity to be defined in anything or anyone outside of The One who created you, approved you, and set you apart. I encourage you to make a decision to be saved and lead a surrendered life so that God can begin to reveal your identity, worth and purpose to you.
Read, dissect and meditate on the above mentioned scriptures.
Real Talk with Keve 