It’s been some time ago that I entered a space where I began praying, “Not my will, but Your will be done”. I felt as if I had finally reached a place where I was genuinely ready to lay down any and every thing to fulfill God’s purpose and will for my life. That was until He called me out. Let’s Talk!
In 2022, after obtaining my licensure to practice as a FNP and months of completing applications, I was unsuccessful in obtaining a job. I was praying and expressing to God how I knew He hadn’t brought me through schooling and allowed me to pass my licensure examination just for me to never work as a FNP. God spoke to me and said, “I did not require for you to go to school and become a nurse or a nurse practitioner. I do not need for you to have any of those credentials to fulfill your purpose within My kingdom. I allowed your continued success because it was a desire of your heart.” After getting over the initial emotions of thinking I had wasted time and money pursuing my desires, I began repeating the prayer, “Not my will, but Your will be done”. At that time, I did not truly mean that phrase, but it was a way for me to speak it on the way to believing it. In hindsight, the scriptures regarding what God had said to me that come to mind are Romans 8:29-30, where Paul tells us that God foreknew and predestined us to be molded into the image of Jesus; God also called His people who were foreordained, made us righteous, justified us, and glorified us. According to these scriptures, there are no prerequisites that we must possess in order to be used by God. God has the plan for us before we are even conceived (as He told us in Jeremiah 1:5). After having that encounter with God, I entered a waiting season where I thought that God was preparing me to be the best NP a patient could encounter. But in all actuality, God had thrust me into a pruning and sanctification season where He was preparing me to go out into the world and teach His words (manifested via Real Talk with Keve, LLC). In hindsight, I see how He had been preparing me to fulfill His purpose and will throughout my life beginning when He planted a desire to teach within me as a little girl.
Let’s Talk about the meat of this post. Last month, one of the best physicians I’ve ever known passed away. Her impact was significant, and she had believed in me when I did not believe in myself. While I was working with her in a RN position, she trained me to be one of the best Hospice NPs anyone could ever encounter. Last year, she had agreed to establish a collaborative agreement with me so that I could begin to prescribe medications. Needless to say, I procrastinated and even in that God was being intentional. On Thursday, March 27, 2025, I finally sat down to gather the information I needed from her to establish the agreement; I planned to meet with her on Friday, April 4, 2025. On Saturday, March 29, 2025, she abruptly passed away; the next day, as I went throughout my day grieving, I told God that I would be absolutely fine if I never wrote a prescription a day in my life. That evening when I finally got home where I could be as emotional as I desired to be, I did just that. I cried and prayed and prayed and cried. God brought back to my remembrance what He had told me in 2022 which I detailed earlier in this post. Despite God telling me that back then, I always thought that His will and my will would coincide. To be honest, gaining that collaborative agreement would have allowed me to fulfill my will to establish a successful business solely related to my career field and not taking into consideration the kingdom of God. God revealed that it was His desire for my business to benefit His kingdom first and me afterwards. And this is exactly why He had to call me out!
In Luke 22:42, Jesus went into the garden of Gethsemane and prayed. Verse 42 states, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine”. Jesus desired to fulfill God’s will, but it appears as if He did not desire the suffering associated with God’s will. In Luke 22:43, we read that an angel came to strengthen Jesus. It is in this verse that we can see that in Jesus’ weakness, when the suffering seemed overbearing and He desired to give up, God sent Him the strength that He needed to carry on. I will admit that along this walk with God I have been in a space where I desired to give up but knew I had to press on to fulfill God’s will. I can attest to this as the year 2024 was the hardest year of my spiritual journey. But even in those sufferings, just as God sent an angel to strengthen Jesus, He provided me with strength to continue to fulfill His will. Now I can say and truly mean, “Not my will, but Your will be done”. As I embark upon this new era, I know that God’s will shall be done, and His presence will remain with me.
You may be at a crossroad where you feel the pressure that God is putting on you to make a specific, faith-filled decision. You may have received God’s instructions to leave your job and establish a business. You may be feeling the call of God greater in this season of your life and know that you need to forsake your will and take His up. I encourage you to envision this blog post as God calling you out and encourage you to take that step of faith.
Read, dissect and meditate on the above mentioned verses.
Real Talk with Keve 