In the adjective form, independent describes one who is free from the control of others, not relying on anything, or not looking for another’s opinion for guidance {adapted from the Merriam-Webster dictionary}. When thinking on those definitions, we can admit that we have never been and will never be independent. But there is hope for all of us who were fully convinced of our independent status while rapping Webbie’s lyrics back in the day. Our hope is in our God’s independent nature. As Acts 17: 24 & 25 declares, “He is the God who made the world and everything in it. Since He is Lord of heaven and earth, He does not live in man-made temples, and human hands cannot serve Him—for He has no needs. He Himself gives life and breath to everything, and He satisfies every need.” Let’s Talk!
I used to be convinced that I had been an independent woman since the age of 19 years. At that time, I had moved out of my mother’s house and into my first apartment with my 5 year old son in tow. The only financial assistance I received was from the government, and it included food stamps, section 8, and TANF. I was on a full tuition scholarship so I budgeted my Pell grant refund to pay my reduced priced bills and meet all of our other needs and desires. I became accustomed to figuring everything out on my own, and in turn, I developed a “I don’t need anyone for anything” type of mindset. Fast forward to a little over two years ago when I rededicated my life to God. I began to hate the thought of being independent, but that hate didn’t push me to shift my reliance onto Him. But as you may know, fully surrendering to God involves releasing control and “taking our hands” out of EVERYTHING. So I began to do just that in certain areas of my life, but in other areas, I met resistance within myself. I had to identify the root cause of that tension. I realized that it wasn’t just my “never needed anyone for anything” mindset; It was also a fear of being disappointed and let down. To be honest, there were times that I had looked to God to show up for me when I was desperate, but He didn’t in that moment. Although I was treating Him as if He was a genie in a bottle, that did not change the way that I felt when He didn’t come through for me.
Recently, while thinking on all of the factors that convinced me of my independent status, Holy Spirit reminded me, “It was never you.” After hearing those words, I felt a sense of freedom and had a “light bulb” moment. I had been so delusional thinking that I was doing all of those things out of my own strength and resources. It was always God showing up for me! When I didn’t know which way to turn, GOD SHOWED UP FOR ME! When I didn’t know where our next meal would come from, GOD SHOWED UP FOR ME! When I was short on my bills and had no one to turn to, GOD SHOWED UP FOR ME! When I began to deal with suicidal ideation, GOD SHOWED UP FOR ME! When I turned my back on God, GOD SHOWED UP FOR ME! When I was buried in my sin deserving to die, GOD SHOWED UP FOR ME! God has always shown up for me even when I wasn’t being intentional with my relationship with Him. Thinking on these things showed me His arm has always been present. Thinking on these things showed me just how great of a Father He is! He has been and will always take exceptional care of me! He has never and will never let me down! That sense of freedom I mentioned above occurred after I finally began releasing the burdens that I’ve been carrying due to attempting to remain “independent”. God is teaching me how to rest in His sovereignty and independent nature.
Friend, I am sure that you can relate to this posting in your own personal way. I know that releasing control can be difficult when you’re used to having to take care of yourself and your responsibilities. But God does a much better job than you ever can. Resting in His sovereign and independent nature is greater than anything you could ever orchestrate! Ttyl!
Real Talk with Keve 