For those of you who have not read “Get out of Your Feelings”, I encourage you to read that post first. For those of you who have read that post, remember that we talked about being sensitive, three types of sensitivity, and the downfalls of sensitivity. That post was dedicated to speaking on the first downfall of sensitivity which was oversensitivity. This post will be dedicated to speaking on the second downfall of sensitivity which is lack of sensitivity. Remember that lack of sensitivity can potentially lead us to a place of disregarding the emotions and needs of others. Let’s Talk!

Do you have a good heart? Have you ever been taken advantage of? Have you ever shown someone so much love despite their negative behaviors that you arrived at a point of no longer having love or compassion for others? Have you ever been hurt to the point of deciding to disregard the desires and needs of others and “focusing on yourself”? What happened to you that caused you to transform from being that selfless, compassionate person to this selfish, coldhearted person? In most of the above mentioned questions, I could see myself prior to God saving me and healing me. As mentioned in “Everybody Can’t Go”, I loved people more than I loved myself. I can admit that loving the wrong people caused me a tremendous amount of emotional and physical pain. Loving the wrong people pushed me to a point of not caring about people. Loving the wrong people had me doing things that were against my nature. Loving the wrong people made me coldhearted. Loving the wrong people forced me into a place of lack of sensitivity. All of that led to my love and compassion for people, except for my children and patients, to grow cold. I felt emotionally numb and enforced the walls I had built up around my heart in an effort to protect myself. But I knew this wasn’t who I truly was. I knew that the pain and trauma that I had endured throughout my life had transformed me into someone I wasn’t. I knew that I couldn’t heal on my own. I knew that it was going to take God Himself to come to my rescue and save me from myself.

When I began to put forth effort in the process of rededicating my life back to Christ, God gave me a vision. In this vision, God was literally performing heart surgery on me. During the vision, God spoke to me informing me that I had a lot of damage within my heart that He needed to repair before He could use me effectively in His Kingdom. After that vision, I went through so much as God began to reveal those things that I had packed deep into my heart in an attempt to forget them. He started to bring forth childhood traumas that I had been through but never dealt with. He showed me how my adult behaviors were tied to most of those unhealed, childhood traumas. He knocked down those walls I had built up to protect myself from people potentially hurting me again. He showed me things about myself that I didn’t even know were rooted within me. I had taken those things on while dealing with the wrong people and being in the wrong places. That vision literally came to life as God performed the heart repair that saved my life… that saved me from dying in sin… that delievered me out of the pits of hell… that set me free from the chains of bondage and generational curses… that would be the pivotal point of my ascension into a new life led by Him. As God did His work within my heart, He sent a person into my life that gave me hope in people again. This person made me began to trust that people could be good without reason, showed me that I didn’t have to sacrifice any portion of myself to be loved, desired to help me and see me succeed without ulterior motives; but mostly importantly, the person showed me the love of God. God utilized that person as He pulled back every layer of hurt, pain and trauma within me exposing them at the roots. God forced me into being emotion and vulnerable again. God knew that I lacked sensitivity in any form that it came in. He knew that I disregarded my own emotions and needs so the emotions and needs of others definitely did not matter to me. He knew that possessing a lack of sensitivity was not of Him and was leading me into impurity (Ephesians 4:19). He knew all of these things and showed compassion towards me still. During the “surgery”, He remained gentle, forgiving, loving, kind, and patient. Just as He desires for us to do with our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Let’s get into the Word! Colossians 3:12 instructs us to put on tenderhearted pity and mercy, a kind feeling, a lowly opinion of ourselves, gentle ways, and patience. Colossians 3:13 instructs us to be gentle, forbearing with one another, forgiving one another even as the Lord freely forgives us. Ephesians 4:32 instructs us to be kind and compassionate towards one another. Galatians 5:22-23 list the fruit of the Spirit which include love, kindness and gentleness. Matthew 25:35-36 reiterates the need for us to be sensitive to the emotions and needs of others. These are not merely encouragements, but they are requirements. God requires us, as His children, to possess the same characteristics as He does through the Holy Spirit. Remember that we were created in His image and likeness (Genesis 1:27). We cannot go throughout our lives hanging on to past traumas and unhealed portions of ourselves. We cannot allow situations, circumstances, or people to change us or cause our perception to shift. We must be sensitive to the emotions and needs of others through the leading of the Holy Spirit. When we are led by the Holy Spirit, we will not find ourselves in places where we are taken advantage of, where we are used, nor where we are abused. I must reiterate the need to be led by the Holy Spirit because if it had not been for His leading, I would still be heartbroken and trauma filled. I would still be bond. I would still be in repetitive cycles. I would still be ineffective in His Kingdom. I would still lack sensitivity. And I most definitely would have pushed that person away that God was utilizing to show me His love and compassion to me.

I encourage you to do a deep dive within yourself on today in an attempt to pinpoint any lack of sensitivity within you. Know that if you do find traces of lack of sensitivity, God is able to uproot any cause and deliver you from anything. Cleave to Him as you search within yourself for He knows you better than you know yourself. Just as God has healed and continues to heal my heart, He can do the same for you and your heart IF you desire for Him to (Psalm 147:3).

Read, dissect and meditate on the above mentioned verses.

As I sat here writing my last post, “Get out of Your Feelings”, God gave me this title. He gave it to me during the paragraph where I was speaking regarding my desire to “match energy” which would have caused my friend to be led astray from God. At the time, I did not identify that the enemy had crept in and was attempting to cause division in my friendship because I was so caught up in my feelings. It took God revealing the plot of satan to me to prevent me from falling into his trap. As mentioned in that post, my friend wasn’t my enemy. Satan was and still is. Let’s Talk about our real enemy!

When it comes to building a relationship with God, we must know and understand that we have an enemy. Satan does not want us to be in relationship with God, do what’s right according to God’s standards, live holy lifestyles, be righteous or serve our purpose for God’s kingdom. Instead, he desires for us to remain in the world and of the world. The enemy’s ultimate goal is world dominion by leading the people of God astray causing a falling away (Revelation 20:7-10). If you have any sports-related knowledge or any experience is competitive games, you know that, in preparation for a match, teams study the tactics of their opponents. This is done to identify any strong and weak areas of the opposing team so that strategies can be organized in an attempt to dominate the opponent and ultimately win the game. Just as sports teams study their opponents, satan studies us. He knows exactly how to tempt us, trap us, distract us, destroy us, and trick us into a state of turning away from God. Knowing that satan studies you, don’t you think you need to study him, identify the tactics he uses against you, and strategize a plan of how you will defeat him when he comes to wage war against you?

In Ephesians 6:12, we are informed that we do not battle against flesh and blood (physical components) but against master spirits who are the world rulers of the present darkness and spiritual forces of wickedness in the supernatural realm. Comprehending this verse is essential. The master spirits of satan don’t care who they utilize as long as they accomplish satan’s goal of stealing, killing, and destroying (John 10:10). Want proof? In Luke 22:1-6, we can read about Judas. Verse 3 informs us of two things: satan entered into Judas and Judas was one of Jesus’ 12 disciples. Clock that!! After satan had entered into Judas, verse four informs us that he went to the chief priests and captains to discuss how he could betray Jesus. Verses five and six inform us that they paid Judas for his betrayal so he devised a plan to give Jesus to them. NOWWWW JUDASSS!! Judas was CHOSEN by Jesus and afforded the opportunity to walk closely with Him, but satan USED HIM AGAINST JESUS. Clock that!! Want more proof that satan does not care where these spirits dwell? Let’s go to Matthew 8: 28-32. Verse 28 informs us that Jesus encountered two men that were possessed with demons. In verse 29, the demons spoke to Jesus asking what He came to do to them. In verses 31 and 32, the demons begged Jesus to cast them out into the group of hogs, and Jesus sent them into the group of hogs causing the hogs to run into the sea and die. THE DEMONS REQUESTED TO GO INTO THE HOGS. You got that point, right? What makes us think that satan cannot and will not use people and things closest to us to cause us to steer away from God? What makes us believe that the people we love cannot be used by satan to influence us to take the wrong path? I’m telling you today that satan DOES NOT care about you nor your family and friends. He does care to accuse you (Zechariah 3:1). He does care to lie to you as he is the father of lies (John 8:44). He does care to corrupt your mind and seduce you from sincere and pure devotion to God (2 Corinthians 11:3). He does desire for you to lack self-control and isolate yourself (1 Corinthians 7:15). He does desire to fill your heart with deceit causing you to attempt to lie to and deceive the Holy Spirit (Acts 5:3). He does care to destroy you including every thing and every one attached to you (1 Peter 5:8).

Are you fighting a losing battle against people? SATAN IS YOUR REAL ENEMY! But just as a team develops a strategy against their opponent, our God did as well. Colossians 2:15 informs us that God disarmed the principalities and powers that were ranged against us in triumphing over them in HIM and IN THE CROSS. When Jesus gave His life for us and resurrected, satan was defeated. And we know that the SAME POWER that raised Jesus from the dead resides in us according to 1 John 4:4. So why is the devil whopping you, friend? Is it because you are not equipped for the warfare? Let me share with you how to get equipped. Go read Ephesians 6:13-18 then I want you to read James 4:7 ensuring that you follow all of the instructions.

Y’all should know by now that I love to enlighten people with the wisdom that God gives me through the revelation of His Words. I also like to connect personal experiences to ensure relatability remains. So here we go… At the beginning of this month, I read Priscilla Shirer’s Fervent: A Woman’s Battle Plan for Serious, Specific, and Strategic Prayer. If you watched War Room or The Forge, Mrs. Shirer was one of the main characters for both movies. In this particular book, she identifies the top ten tactics satan uses to distract us from being focused on God. She also offers scripture-based strategies against each tactic. If you like to read as a hobby, I highly recommend this book because satan’s tactics mentioned within this book were all relatable to my life. I feel as if with the knowledge from God’s Word and that book, I am better equipped at identifying the tactics of satan in relation to areas in life that I don’t readily think of.

As always, read, dissect, and mediate of the above mentioned verses.

Read the title again. And again. Read it one more time. Let’s Talk about it!

I know y’all like to talk about me because these posts don’t relate to you, right? Let’s get into it. I love people. Prior to being saved: I loved people so much that I placed them ahead of myself. I loved people so much that I valued their thoughts and opinions over my own thoughts and opinions. I loved people so much that I allowed others to make decisions for me instead of making my own decisions. I loved people so much that I was afraid to call them out on their stuff because I did not desire to lose them. I loved people so much that I allowed them to use me, abuse me, and lie to me; I loved them so much that I still showed up for them after all of that. I loved people so much that I volunteered my resources knowing they did not deserve my assistance. I loved people so much that I transformed parts of me to appease them. I loved people so much that I settled for a community of people that were near me but so far from me because they couldn’t see me drowning behind the smile I plastered on my face. I loved people so much that I became so low that I desired to die instead of living. I loved people so much that I allowed them to hurt me while I helped them. I loved people so much until I began to love Christ and myself.

It wasn’t until after I got saved that God allowed me to realize that I needed to be delivered from people. Do you think that I jumped into action after that realization? Wellllll, the honest answer is no. I battled with the idea of having to walk away from people who I credited for impacting my life in any sort of positive way. The instances spoken of above weren’t the entirety of the relationships I had with people. The same people that negatively impacted me at some point in time had positively impacted me as well. That is one of the reasons why I battled internally with letting people go. The other reason was I was afraid of what they would think about me or say about me. The last reason was I would have to deal with the hurt and pain that came from ending the relationships. BUT GOD! God was calling me from amongst people. I had to answer Him whether it was voluntarily or involuntarily. (Side note: Yes, God does give us a choice, but there are times when He forces your hand when you have walked with Him in a certain capacity.) I walked away from some of the relationships freely because I knew that the negative impact overweighed the positive impact. They were literally no good for me. But God had to guide me out of one friendship in particular. We had been friends for 10 years, and she was dear to my heart. We had created a beautiful friendship built on fun times, but we had also weathered a lot of storms together. She had actually became more like a sister to me than a friend. I tried my best to hold on to every piece of our friendship, but the harder I tried to keep it in my gripes, the more it slipped away. I was left grieving the loss of what I had envisioned would be a lifelong friendship and questioning why God forced my hand with walking away. God simply told me and continues to tell me, “Everybody can’t go”!

Let’s Talk about why everybody can’t go! When God gives you an assignment, IT IS FOR YOU. This assignment is planned, purposed and orchestrated by GOD. You do not need anyone else’s opinion, approval, direction, or support for something GOD gave YOU. While it is human nature for us to desire our loved ones to validate, encourage and support us, it should not be a requirement in order for us to live out and fulfill God’s purpose for us. And to be quite honest, everybody that “supports” you, whether privately or publicly, is not always for you. Some people tend to support you because it is their duty as a friend or family member. Let’s get into the scriptures. In Mark 3:13-19, Jesus named His 12 disciples. In those verses, you can read how Jesus desired and chose them with purpose; that purpose was to go out into the earth and preach and to have authority and power to heal the sick and cast out demons. While Jesus did select 12 disciples, we read in many passages of scripture where He only permitted 3 out of the 12 to go with Him and witness certain manifestations of His power. In Mark 5:37, Jesus permitted no one to accomplany Him except Peter, James and John when He healed Jairus’ daughter. In Mark 9:2, Jesus took Peter, James and John and led them up the high mountain apart by themselves; that is where they were able to witness Jesus’ transfiguration. In Mark 14:32&33, Jesus instructed the other 9 disciples to stay behind and pray while permitting Peter, James and John to go to the Garden of Gethsemane with Him. In Mark 14: 34, Jesus expressed to Peter, James, and John that He was exceedingly sad and instructed them to stay awake keeping watch while He pressed a little further. It is here that I want to make an impression. Although those 3 had witnessed the power and miraculous works of Jesus time and time again, when Jesus was deeply troubled, He pressed into His Father ALONE! He desired for them only to stay awake, keep watch and pray. In Mark 14:37, we read that the 3 had fallen asleep while Jesus was praying. I would like to make an impression here as well. The same 3 that had witnessed the power and miraculous works of Jesus time and time again, did not even stay awake, keep watch or pray for Him AFTER HE HAD OPENLY EXPRESSED TO THEM how He was exceedingly sad. So if the people that Jesus had allowed to witness so much of His power fell asleep on Him, how are you counting on your friends and family to stay awake for you? How are you so phased and moved by their opinions and thoughts when they could potentially be sleeping on you?

I’m going to leave you with Galatians 1:10. This verse in The Everyday Life Bible by Joyce Meyer reads, “Now am I trying to win the favor of men, or of God? Do I seek to please men? If I were still seeking popularity with men, I should not be a bond servant of Christ (the Messiah)”. Are you seeking to please men or God? If you find that the answer to that question is men, I encourage you to repent to God and commit to building your relationship with Him.

Read, dissect and meditate on the previously mentioned verses.

How many social media posts have you read on the topic of knowing your worth? How many talks with your friends or family members or maybe even yourself have you had regarding realizing and walking in your worth? How many times are you going to have to find yourself in disrespectful, distasteful, and embarrassing situations before you reclaim your worth? How long are you willing to settle for less knowing that your worth is greater than what you are allowing? Let’s Talk!

When God gave me this title, it was the morning after an old situationship contacted me. Mind you, I ended this situationship almost two years ago, but he desired to know why I didn’t contact him anymore. During the conversation, I told him the reasons why I had not contacted him and would not start back contacting him. He mentioned noting my involvement in the church now, but immediately after, he brought up how I used to be the “fun girl”. {Y’all see the devil working, right? Let me just add this here. When you make progression forward in life, the enemy is going to use anything and everybody to either bring you back to where you used to be or knock you off of God’s course for your life.} I told him that the “fun girl” I used to be was an unhealed young woman who was using coping mechanisms to mask pain and settling for less than what she was worthy of. I reminded him of the toxicity of the situationship and how I did not understand how he even desired to be involved with me at that time. (You know it’s bad when you realize your own mess and confess it.) Nevertheless, none of that mattered to him. He mentioned possibly taking me on a trip. He pulled all of the stops in an attempt to persuade me to reverting back to dealing with him. But all of that was to no avail because the “fun girl” he came looking for has been transformed by God into a completely different woman… one with her worth and value rooted in God. When I ended that situationship, it was due to me having a conversation with myself regarding my worth, values and morals. I was fed up with dealing with the toxicity. I had come to the conclusion that the situationship would never be more than an uncommitted “good time”. I was done degrading myself for the sake of having someone who was semi present. Mind you, this wasn’t the first time I allowed my worth to be defined by a man’s standards. To be quite frank, I had a history of allowing paid trips, money, and gifts to keep me in situations I knew were not good for me. But the truth of the matter at that time was that I desired to be deemed worthy in man’s eyes and according to man’s standards. The conversation with him ended, and I was proud of myself. I was proud that I had come to a place of looking the enemy in the face and not bowing down or giving in to the old tactics that were effective. I was proud because I had stayed the course that I committed to almost 2 years ago and never looked back. I remain proud that I continue to allow God to transform me into the woman that He created me to be.

I know all of us have found ourselves in situations where we compromised our worth, morals, and values to be in a situationship. And when speaking of situationships, you can include relationships, marriages, career paths, friendships, etc. Some of us knew better and still remained in those situations. Some of us had to muster up the strength to finally stand up for ourselves and leave. Some of us were so lost that when we finally came up for air, we could no longer identify ourselves. I have two questions to set the tone for the meat of this post, “How much are you worth? What is your value?”.

Like mentioned above, we tend to use cultural standards, society’s standards, man’s standards, woman’s standards and even our own standards to measure our worth up against. We go to the extent of building up personas, obtaining the greatest degrees, obtaining the highest titles, buying the most beautiful homes, driving the nicest cars, achieving a certain social status, and anything else to appear as if we are of high value and worth. Then there comes a point when we realize that all of those things add no value to our true worth. I heard it like this in a song this week, “We are public successors but privately broken”. Let’s Talk about me because maybe you cannot relate to what I am saying! God dealt with me heavily regarding my success and accomplishments after I got saved. The truth of the matter is I had obtained all of these degrees and achieved social status, but those things did not make me feel any more worthy or valuable. While in the waiting season to enter into my nurse practitioner era, God told me that He did not need me to have any degrees, possess any type of social status or obtain any special qualifications to do what He desired for me to do in His kingdom. He revealed that He allowed me to be successful in school and obtain my licensures because that was a desire of my heart. It wasn’t until He began to strip me of my coping mechanisms and the identity that I had formulated and built up for myself that He revealed how I had rooted my identity in my responsibilities and titles. It was not until God began to transform me that I realized that I could not be who I had created myself to be, but I had to be who God created me to be. As God peeled back the layers of my formulated identity, I began to see that my identity is rooted in God and my worth is far beyond what I had imagined.

God desires for you to realize your true worth and identity. We’ve talked about how worth can be defined through relationship with others and through titles. Let’s Talk about your true worth and identity which are both rooted in God. Genesis chapter one verses 26 and 27 lets us know that we were created in the IMAGE and LIKENESS of God. When man was created, he was structured like God and possessed a similar nature, Spirit, and intellect as God. Man was created with dominion within him (Genesis 1:28); dominion is defined as authority and power. Jeremiah chapter one verse five lets us know that before God formed us in our mother’s womb, He knew and approved us. And before we were born, He separated us and set us apart. YOU WERE NOT CREATED TO FIT IN. Accept that key point and move forward; you cannot get caught up in desiring to fit in so much that you miss God’s plan and purpose for your life. Ephesians chapter two verse 10 reveals that we are God’s handiwork and that we were recreated in Jesus Christ to do the good works which God predestined for us. Psalm chapter 139 verse 14 tells us that we were fearfully and wonderfully made. Those verses attest to our IDENTITY. How about our worth? I am going to list only two verses here because I believe they are the most impactful. John chapter three verse 16 states that God loved the world so much that He gave His only Son for whoever that believes in Him to not perish but have eternal life. Romans chapter 5 verse 8 states God showed and clearly proved His love for us because while we were sinners, His son died for us. YOU ARE WORTH DYING FOR!! End of story.

Your worth and identity are not defined by people’s opinions, your past, your mistakes, your works, your income, your social status, your title, cultural norms, or religious factors. I encourage you to evaluate yourself. Look within yourself to see if you have allowed your worth and identity to be defined in anything or anyone outside of The One who created you, approved you, and set you apart. I encourage you to make a decision to be saved and lead a surrendered life so that God can begin to reveal your identity, worth and purpose to you.

Read, dissect and meditate on the above mentioned scriptures.

You know that walking with God doesn’t mean that things will always be peaches and cream, right? That’s a common misconception. The Bible forewarns us that we will face sufferings, afflictions, tests, and trials (John 16:33, Psalm 34:19, Isaiah 48:10, 1 Peter 4:12-13, Romans 8:18). Numerous verses throughout the Bible describe people suffering, falling short, feeling defeated, becoming weak, or desiring to give up. There are also verses that reveal that even Jesus suffered (1 Peter 4:1&2, 1 Peter 2:24). Luke 22:42 reveals that Jesus, Himself, desired to give up while completing the fulfillment of His Father’s will. I am grateful that Jesus placed His Father’s will and assignment ahead of His desire to give up. Jesus’ suffering was not in vain and neither will your suffering be. There are promises attached to our suffering (Romans 5:3-5, Philippians 1:29, 2 Corinthians 4:17, 1 Peter 5:10). So if Jesus went through suffering for our sins, why can’t we accept that we will go through sufferings as well? Why can’t we endure the sufferings while looking forward to the greater outcome? Why do we give up on God and His will so easily? Let’s Talk!

I never want to paint a picture as if my walk with God is one of a “peaches and cream” nature. I desire to be transparent and engage in Real Talk. I desire to be as vulnerable as God instructs me and posting this post warrants complete vulnerability. So Let’s Talk! In November 2023, I was in an unhealthy situationship. During that time, I was unhealed from a previous relationship, and I was relying heavily on alcohol and fornication as my coping mechanisms as I had done for over a decade. During that month, I began to become dissatisfied with my lifestyle. I desired to be a better person and lead a better lifestyle. Quite frankly, I desired to lead a lifestyle that was pleasing to God. It wasn’t until December 20, 2023, that I actually asked God to save me again. I surrendered myself to Him. That very day, I made a commitment to God that I would consecrate my body as His temple and do all I could to ensure it remained a suitable vessel for His Spirit. To me that commitment meant that I would leave the situationship and fornication behind. I replaced fornication with a workout regimen. Do you know how hard it is to deny your flesh of something that it is accustomed to on a regular basis? Do you know what it feels like to have the devil attempting to convince you to do it “just one more time”? Do you know how hard it can be to silence the sweet nothings being whispered into your ear attempting to draw you backwards? Do you know how much effort it takes to not please yourself when the urges are overwhelming? Do you know that praying in those moments will get you through the moments? I won’t lie by saying I didn’t succumb to pleasing my flesh, but I can tell you that it takes the power of the Holy Spirit to resist those urges and overcome those moments. Walking in the Spirit of God enables you to overcome the lusts of your flesh.

As I continued to surrender to God, I went on multiple fasts from liquor, but I continued to drink wine during those times. I would drink when I wanted to “have a good time” or when I was “stressed out” or “when I achieved an accomplishment” or “when someone else achieved an accomplishment”. I can admit that alcohol was the star of the show for my life. The unfortunate side of that was, I did not know what having a good time meant if it didn’t involve alcohol. I also did not know how to effectively cope during times of high stress or raw emotion because I had made a habit of masking those moments with alcohol. Do you know that God is a deliverer? On June 29, 2024, I poured myself a glass of wine and sat down to read my Bible. In that moment, I heard God ask me one simple question, “Why are you drinking?”. I, in turn, asked myself that question, but I couldn’t find an answer. God began to remind me of how He had brought me out of situations, relationships, hard times, abuse, etc. I had used all of those as reasons to drink. He reminded me that He had changed so much in my life and my mindset. By asking me that question, He revealed to me that I had no reason at all to be drinking in that moment. I got up, and I poured that glass of wine down the drain. Just know that as of June 30, 2024, I have been sober. With my two coping mechanisms gone, I turned more to prayer and being vulnerable with God. Do you know what it feels like to be drinking alcohol one day and have no desire to drink alcohol the next day? Do you know what it’s like for a weekly habit for over a decade of your life to be snatched away from you by God? Do you know what it feels like to be an adult and not be able to give emotions a name or effectively express them? Do you know that coping mechanisms do not provide any type of healing? Do you know that God is able to heal you from the root causes of whatever is causing you to depend on those coping mechanisms?

Months prior to my deliverance from alcohol, I had started to become uncomfortable being in the club-like settings so I began to shy away from the club scene. Instead, I began to go to house parties, invite only events or laid back lounges while I was out of town. Eventually, I felt completely out of place in those settings as well so I began to stay home more often. This was completely new to me because I used to stay “on go”. Do you know how challenging it is to adjust from being “on go’ to being a homebody? Do you know how much resistance arises when God instructs you to stay at home when you desire to hangout? Do you know what loneliness feels like? Do you know what it feels like to go from having friends for every occasion to barely having any friends because you don’t partake in the old activities? Do you know what it’s like to lose people close to you due to you pursuing a different life path? Do you know how it feels to grieve the loss of friendships? Do you know that God will send you a new community of people that will make you realize how important it is to have a community striving for the same greatness you’re striving for?

These are only a few of the things that have occurred since December 2023. Know that when I gave God a real yes and surrendered to Him, the afflictions, tests, trials, and sufferings came; but they were/are for a greater purpose. When starting this journey, I experienced low moments which lead to discouragement and a desire to give up on serving God. If I am not careful to keep my focus on God instead of my circumstances, I will find myself experiencing those moments as well. December 2023, I made a decision to not run away from God or turn back to my comfortable place or give up just because things seemed tough or were not going my way. I am currently in a place where I confidently believe God’s words are true, and I have a Job 13:15 mindset. It is important for us to know and believe that our sufferings, afflictions, tests and trials are not in vain. When you are in God and striving to please Him, He uses those circumstances to transform you, teach you, birth things within you, reveal and uproot things from within you, etc. Because of my sufferings, afflictions, tests and trials, I have become a new person and am still becoming. When I surrendered, God literally began to strip me of the identity that I had formulated and built for myself. Currently, He continues to strip me. But while He strips me, He also continues to solidify my new identity which is rooted in Him. I don’t live like I used to live. I don’t have the same mindset that I used to have. I don’t walk like I used to walk. I don’t talk like I used to talk. I know that this walk is a journey, and as long as I continue to strive, God will continue to transform and uplift me. Remember that you cannot expect for years of things you became accustomed to doing to fall off of you simultaneously. When God delivered me from alcohol at once, I prayed and asked Him to deliver me from cursing just like that as well. Let’s just say I am still striving and allowing Him to change my language. I fail, at times, but I also give myself credit because I know that the cursing is not as bad as it used to be. I said that to say this, it is important to have the Holy Spirit on this journey of faith. The Holy Spirit will teach you, convict you, correct you, and guide you; I am a witness to this.

Can you imagine looking up one day and not recognizing yourself? Can you imagine making progress forward then stopping and contemplating going back because the new place is uncomfortable? Can you imagine God setting you so far from your old life that you are forced to accept your new life?

My desire for this post is to encourage someone who is desiring to live a life that is surrendered to God or striving to live a life that is surrendered to God. Making the decision to do so was not easy and neither is the journey after that. But you can do anything WITH GOD (Philippians 4:13). I encourage you to keep your focus on God. He will guide you through this journey. He will uplift you when you feel broken down. He will encourage you when you are discouraged. He will give you instructions when you are unsure. He will make you feel loved and seen when you are lonely. He will teach you how to lean on Him and Him alone. He will be your all and all. Stay encouraged. God sees you. God hears you. God loves you.

Are you persuaded? Are you sold out? Let’s Talk!

When God gave me this title, I immediately thought of the verses in Romans chapter 8 verses 38 and 39. Those verses read, “For I am persuaded beyond doubt that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord”. Immediately after those verses came to mind, the song “Souled Out” by Hezekiah Walker followed. I’m sure by now you catch my drift. Is there anything or anyone that could cause your surrender to God to become obsolete? Is there anything or anyone that could cause you to walk away from God? Will you be separated or will you be the one? Let’s Talk!

This past week as I headed to my first patient’s home, I turned on my worship playlist and sang to God as I frequently do. Eventually, “Respond” by Travis Greene came on, and instead of singing, I listened intently like I had never heard or sang the song before. As I listened, my heart began to cry out as he sang the lyrics, “You see all; Still You’re searching for someone who will respond… You sit high; Still You’re looking for somewhere You could abide”. I weep and began to reflect on my life for a few moments. I reflected on the many times God has utilized me to give an encouraging word to someone. I reflected on how I had spent so much time out of His will and out of alignment with Him. Surely, He had use of me even during those times, but I did not desire to be used. For a moment, just reflect on how many times you’ve felt as if you needed a word from God. Reflect on how you had prayed and felt like your prayers weren’t being heard or answered. Reflect on the times when someone contacted you “out of the blue” and spoke life into you that solidified that God had actually heard your prayers. Reflect on how you knew it was God because you hadn’t shared what you were going through or praying for with anyone else. Now imagine God desiring to use you in the same way that He used the person that spoke life into you. What or who is in the way of God using you as His vessel and abiding within your temple? For most of us, the answer is ourselves. Oftentimes, we tend to get into our own way. Just imagine proclaiming to be God’s person yet He is searching and looking for a vessel and temple. Just imagine God needing to use you to help someone, but you’re not in the right alignment to be used. Just imagine someone not getting a word from God because you could not hear His voice. Just imagine someone’s life literally being on the line, and you resisted God’s pull to intervene. Just imagine how God feels looking for a vessel and searching for a temple despite having people who proclaim to be His. Let’s get back to the lyrics. “You don’t have to search no more; I’m the one You’re looking for… When you call me, I will respond. When you pull me, I will come running to your arms. I will respond to You.” These lyrics are a standard of living for my lifestyle. I want to be so caught up in God’s presence that I am able to hear Him whisper when He desires to use me. I want to be so available that when He pokes at me I’ll be attentive to see what He desires for me to do. There is nothing that I will not do for God. I don’t care how it feels, what it looks like, where it leads me, what my mind thinks, or what I have to endure; I will forever and always ensure that I stay aligned with God as His vessel and temple.

Can you truly say that being God’s vessel and temple is the desire of your heart? Are you in the right alignment to be immediately used by God? Are you allowing external factors to stop up your ears and cloud your eyesight causing you to be unable to hear and see God? Are you engaging in conversations and a lifestyle that are pleasing to God? Do you possess the Holy Spirit for convenience purposes only? Are you allowing the Holy Spirit to be your guidance, conviction, teacher, corrector? I encourage you to make a decision to live your life as God’s vessel and allow Him to inhabit your temple. I encourage you to perform a self-evaluation on your life and lifestyle to identify anything or anyone withholding you from responding to God’s call or pull. I encourage you to be persuaded. I encourage you to be the one.

Read, dissect, and meditate on Romans 8:38 & 39, Isaiah 6:8, and 2 Timothy 1:12.

Whewww chilleee! That title is a little heavy, isn’t it? A lot of us get caught up in the waiting season. We tend to focus moreso on the timing of the waiting season and the desire for the change and improvement to occur. We focus on those things so much that we miss God’s purpose for the waiting season. God simply doesn’t have you waiting for no reason at all. Either you are not properly aligned and God is waiting on you to get into the correct position and/or God is simply going before you making the crooked paths straight. Either way, you should not be anxious. Instead, you should be becoming who God created you to be in preparation for your next season. Let’s Talk! 💗

Let’s Talk about my waiting season prior to becoming a Nurse Practitioner (NP). After passing my licensure examination, I spent the next several months submitting applications. Out of all of the applications I submitted, only one company called me back for an interview. I interviewed for the position and declined it as the liability was too great. At the time I was working as a contract Registered Nurse (RN). I eventually ended my contract and accepted a position as a RN Case Manager (RNCM) locally. The salary for the RNCM position was lower than the contract position, but I needed to be closer to home to support my oldest son as it was his senior year of high school. Shortly after the job transition, I began reading Me Ra Koh’s book titled 4 Minutes to Hear God’s Voice. After reading the first chapter, I practiced the act that she had described. To my surprise, God took me into a vision where “someone” was lying on an operating room table while a surgeon placed stitches into the heart. When I looked at the “patient”, I realized that it was me. Instantly, God began to speak to me revealing that He needed to do some work within my heart to make me more suitable for the calling that He had placed on my life. He promised me that after He completed the major work that He would allow me to walk into my career field and enter an era of greater for my entire life. I believed God. I continued to pray regarding my future NP position, but I wasn’t anxious regarding stepping into that career path after that encounter. My primary focus became becoming who God created me to be. While I was focused on that, God was creating space for the position He desired for me to step into. Would you believe me if I told you that I was in the “right place at the right time”? If I had made my decision to accept the RNCM position based off of money, I would not have been here to support my son. I accepted that position not knowing that God had strategically placed me there for a time He knew was coming. Would you believe me if I told you that the NP position for the company became vacant and I transitioned right into the position without any formalities? I literally had a conversation with my future boss who told me there was about to be a vacancy, and if I wanted the position, all I needed to do was make it known!! I made it known right then and God blew my mind shortly thereafter. If God had not began to change my heart prior to me stepping into the NP position, I know that I wouldn’t have done well or been of any benefit to His kingdom. I was not ready spiritually for the tasks that came along with that position. Initially, I was only thinking of the promotion in a financial aspect when God was desiring for me to be an impact for His kingdom through that position. Some of us have to come to grips with the fact that YOU ARE NOT READY YET, but when God sees it fit, He will allow you to advance.

I’m in a place in my relationship with God where I am completely reliant on His words, instructions, and guidance. If He doesn’t tell me to move, I’m staying still and trusting Him. I made a decision that no matter what test or trial comes my way, I will stand with God just as He always stands with me. And I simply will not let go; not even after He blesses me! I am yet in another waiting season for God’s promises to continue to be manifested. Just imagine knowingly being in your waiting season, and God asks you, “How long are you willing to wait?” I will not lie; He liked to have sent me over the top when He asked me this question. Initially, I began to ponder some negative thoughts that raced in my mind. Next, I found myself feeling sad and hopeless. After realizing the devil was attempting to hijack my mind, I brought my thoughts captive and my emotions as well. I began to ponder the question and came up with the answer “However long You would have me to wait”. During the previously mentioned waiting season, I witnessed God’s intentionality regarding preparing me for my next season. God knows everything regarding the next era of my life. He knows how He’ll need for me to show up and what characteristics within me will be a hinderance. He knows that I’ll need more patience, more compassion, more endurance, more community, more accountability, more of HIM! I know that those things can be birthed during the waiting season. I will not miss God’s purpose for my waiting season attempting to focus on the doors that I KNOW He is going to open for me! Instead, I’ll continue to become who He needs me to be in preparation for His promises!

Are you in a waiting season and getting weary? Are you focused on the situation or circumstances more than on God? Are you anxious regarding the length of the waiting season? Are you becoming who God created you to be while you wait? Are you learning in your waiting season? I encourage you to take your focus off of the timing, circumstances, and the next door. I encourage you to set your focus on God and what He is trying to birth within you and through you during this waiting season.

Read, dissect, and meditate on Isaiah 55:11, Numbers 23:19, Genesis 32:26, Galatians 6:9, Isaiah 40:31, Psalm 27:14, Psalm 40:1, and Psalm 130:5.

We have become a generation that looks to social media regarding everything from our hairstyles to our clothing to our morals and values. Unfortunately, social media has truly shaped some of our current lives and mindsets. Not only that, I’m sure that you have more than likely been “influenced” to make a purchase of an item, right? Have any of the possessions or things you’ve been influenced to do brought you any joy? Orrr maybe your child(ren) are the source of your joy? Orrrr maybe your man, your man, your man (or woman) is the source of your joy? What happens when you allow earthly possessions and people to become the center of your happiness? What happens when the person you looked to for happiness is no longer there for you? What happens when the things you sought after for temporary happiness are no longer of your interest? What happens when God strips you of everything and everyone you used as a source of happiness? I’ll tell you what happened to me… I lost my smile. And when I say I lost my smile, I mean it literally and figuratively. My internal state was one of dissatisfaction which lets you know that I was literally forcing a smile. When figuratively speaking, I hadn’t truly began to smile until I began to experience God’s joy. Let’s Talk!

Everyone that knows me knew that two things were true: I used to love to party, and no matter what, I was going to go to church. When it came to a party, I was going to be the life of it. I found that a good time for me meant I would be indulging in alcohol and dancing my tail off. Being in that environment made me happy. I eventually came to a place of realization that I was tired of temporary happiness. I was tired of relying on substances to be the source of a good time for me. We all know that happiness is a fleeting emotion, here one second and gone the next. Happiness tends to be based off of conditions rather than an internal state. I began to desire an internal state of joy. I knew that I desired to be a better person. I knew that I desired to lead a life that was better for my physical and mental health. I knew that I wanted to truly please God in all my ways instead of compromising and doing wrong when I knew the right way. I knew that there was only one place that I could find joy and become a better person, and that is in the presence of God. So I surrendered my life to Him. Can you imagine what happened as I surrendered to God? I’ll tell you. He began to deliver me from all of the substances and people that I relied on as my sources of happiness. As He continued to deliver me, I found myself looking back. I found myself missing those “happy times”. But I also found myself deeper and deeper into my relationship with God. I found myself so far away from my previous lifestyle that I knew that I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever turn back. That forced me to began to grieve the lifestyle that I once knew and loved.

Can we pause here for a moment? Let’s Talk about having to grieve previous seasons of life. As you know, we grieve when there is a significant loss. That loss can include the loss of a career, relationship, a physical state due to injury/illness, and of course, death. Anytime there is a loss, you can expect to grieve. So, at times, I was sad, lonely, confused, and longing for a replacement after God had removed my sources of temporary happiness. I got through those low times with God alone. I got through those times IN HIS PRESENCE by praying and reading my Bible. I got through those times by being intentional with building my relationship with God. There were many times where I just laid on my face and cried out to God. HE was there in each moment to pick me up, encourage me, and set me back on my feet and His path. I found that only the presence of God could fill the void that I felt. I wanted to pause to tell you that it is appropriate to grieve previous seasons of life prior to being able to truly began to live in the places God has called you to as a new creature.

It was and still is in those moments of being in God’s presence that I experience joy. I’m talking about a feeling of complete fulfillment, happiness, peace, contentment and comfort. And the thing about joy is it isn’t fleeting or a temporary emotion like happiness. The joy that God gives cannot be influenced by circumstances, and IT CANNOT BE FOUND IN ANYONE OR ANYTHING.

I am here today to tell you that what you are seeking to fill that void is only found in the presence of God. I am here to tell you that those materialistic things, your partner, your children, and your job will not be able to bring you any joy. I am here to encourage you to allow your sources of your temporary happiness to be replaced with the internal state of joy provided by God alone.

Read, dissect, and meditate on James 1:2, Romans 15:13. Romans 12:12, Acts 2:28, Proverbs 17:22 Psalm 126:5-6, and Psalm 16:11.